I Graduated College Yesterday (and I'm Only a Little Bit Scared)

Yesterday was kind of a whirlwind. I had slept over at my friends' apartment near school the night before so I only had to wake up at 5:30 to get ready. The ceremony was long and tiring and the guy butchered my last name when I walked across the stage, but I was just so happy that my four years of hard work had paid off. Obviously, college is great. Some say it's the best time of their lives. And while I had incredible experiences and made amazing friends, it was really hard for me and I have to be honest and say that I'm glad it's over. You always remember things better than they were, so I know I'll look back on college with nostalgia at some point, but right now I am happy to be done with homework and studying and tests and lazy group project members and not sleeping, and all the other crazy bullshit you get put through in college. Like right now, I'm sitting here feeling like there's something I should be doing, like a project or paper I should be writing, and I was done finals almost two weeks ago. I think I'm a little traumatized.

My biggest fear right now is the future. People are always asking me "what are you doing next?", and while I was lucky enough to have graduated with a job, I'm scared of the uncertainty of what lies ahead of me. What if I can't do it? What if no one believes in me or gives me a chance? I have so many concerns, but I know they're no different than the concerns of every other person. I have my first day at my new job tomorrow, and I'm really nervous. But I was really nervous about college too, and I got through it.

Obviously there are no guarantees, and there is no way of knowing what is coming, but I don't want to go back, I want to keep moving forward. Regardless of what happens, forward is the only direction I can move in. And I know that if I just keep going, I'll figure it out (at least a little bit). I'm starting to realize why so many TV shows start off like this. The possibilities seem endless, but I can't tell if that's good or not.